The Cape

We didn’t think that we would be able to take a vacation this past summer because every penny is being saved for the adoption.  However, we took a risk and tallied all of our frequent flyer miles and credit card points and chose to escape to a place we’d never been before.  I’ve always wanted to see New England, and Brad just needed to get out of the office for week.  These are some of my favorite pictures from the trip.  There’s also a story at the end about my favorite souvenir that we brought home.

DSC_0996Gingerbread houses.
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DSC_0985Colorful Buoys.
DSC_0902Sunset at the oldest windmill at the Cape.
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Lighthouse + cross.

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Plymouth Rock

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Whale watching.

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My favorite souvenir from the trip was this book for our Baby Broccoli.

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The title of the book caught my eye, because we’d had several conversations on our trip about waiting for our baby.  The night that we were in this quaint little shop was the eve of May 30 – exactly one year since we had been officially waiting to be matched with a birthmother. DSC_0011

As I started to read the book, my sighs turned into tears.

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We have said for months that our “Someday” will come soon.  Someday when the Lord’s timing is right.

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I could barely finish reading the book because I started the ugly cry.  My sweet husband, who always knows how to make me feel better, gently put his arm around my shoulder and purchased the book as a souvenir for our nursery.  When we got back to our room that night, we each wrote these letters to our Baby Broccoli.  DSC_0006

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Our trip was such a blessing.  A much needed time to get away to celebrate, pray, and hope.  We came home refreshed and renewed in each other and in Spirit!  The Cape might not be a place that we ever go again, but it was a welcome surprise to our summer!

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A look back.

Here’s a look back at my guest post over at Re{de}fining.  Thanks again Jenn for considering all aspects of motherhood!

I’m usually terrible with dates.  I can’t ever remember my best friends’ birthdays.  I actually do well to remember the month.  Thank you Facebook for helping me not look like a jerk.  However, I do remember The Date.  It only took my husband an entire month to convince me we were ready.  Yes, he had to convince me.  May 27, 2007 was our first Anniversary, so do the math: one month of convincing + one last day on the pill and we arrive at June 28th.   We had 13 glorious months of marital bliss before this day.  And then it happened.

(Cue the dramatic music…)

We were ready to start a family.  We were also innocently ignorant to the ways of the world and how things don’t immediately turn out the way that you imagine them in your storybook fairy-tale.  Looking back, I can’t recall encountering anyone in my life who was experiencing infertility.  Even though I’d heard of women who had endured a miscarriage, the dourness of such circumstances didn’t register with me until it was something I had experienced on my own.

After more than a year of shattered dreams, countless doctors visits, and four miserable (& failed) rounds of fertility drugs we felt defeated. We needed a break to physically and emotionally recoup. Surprisingly, a few months later, we were stunned to find out that our time of rest was beneficial.  The day that I found out I was going to be a mother brought a precious joy that very few other events in my life have produced.  Twelve days later that joy turned to gut-wrenching heartache.  The circumstances surrounding our miscarriage are complex.  I actually experienced an ectopic pregnancy, and was miraculously much further along in my pregnancy than I had originally thought.  The following months brought excruciating complications that are sporadically detailed in my first blog, Keeping In Step.

Despite my brief pregnancy, I am a mother; even though my emotions and empty arms would beg to differ on most days.  After my body had healed physically and my emotions had become more stable, my response to well-meaning strangers when they asked if I had any children was usually the same.  “Not yet.”  It was the simple answer, but a response that always brought up raw sentiments.

It’s been three and a half years since we had to say good-bye to our first baby.  There are still so many unanswered questions regarding our infertility issues.  Thankfully, these days I have a new response to those curious inquiries from strangers.  It is still easier not to mention our baby in Heaven during casual conversations, but we will proudly tell anyone who will listen that we are expecting our next baby through adoption.  My journey to motherhood has been a difficult road. Throughout this adventure, I have experienced a variety of emotions and there have been the most difficult of days.  Mostly, I am thankful.  For the privilege of being chosen to be the mother of our precious baby in heaven, and especially for being blessed by the merciful grace of my Saviour.

Guest blogging at Re{de}fining

I’m excited to announce that I am guesting blogging today over at Re{de}fining.  My dear friend, Jenn, is doing a series on motherhood for the month of October.  She graciously asked me to share my journey to motherhood because not all of her readers, or women for that matter, have come to be a mother easily.  There are countless heartbreaking stories of women who have been trying for years to have a baby and just as many moms with empty arms due to miscarriages.  Jenn was thoughtful enough to consider this side of motherhood and wanted me to contribute to her series.  So, go check out her blog, and leave a comment to enter for a chance to win some of my jewelry!

food for my soul

This past weekend was food for my soul, and I didn’t even know it was that hungry.  Evidently, I was running on empty.  But I got my fill thanks to my romantic hubby and some great fellowship with new friends.

Brad came home from work Saturday night, and said “Put on your fancy shoes, we’re going out tonight!”  His amazing spontaneity helps balance my obsessive need to plan out ever single detail of our lives.  On his way home from work, he bought concert tickets.  Not while he was at work, or that morning before he left.  During his 20 minute commute home, he used the glorious luxuries of his smart phone and planned a romantic evening for me, at red lights, I’m sure.

We caught some gourmet grub then we went to see Martina McBride.  I wouldn’t say that we are huge followers of Martina, but when you have impulsive dates, you just pick whatever concert is playing that night.  And my Boo picked well!  The especially neat thing about this concert was that it was held at the DPEC which is a smaller theater where large concerts are not normally held.  Martina McBride spoke about the intimate setting and how she felt closer to her audience.  Brad even let me sing a long to the songs!  It was a really neat and romantic experience!  

I know this isn’t the best picture but there was a fierce usher that took her job a little too seriously walking the isles.  She would call out anyone who took pictures.  I made Brad sneak some pictures just so I could blog about it.  You’re welcome!  After the concert, which included three encores, my honey drove me half an hour out of our way to get Krispy Kreme donuts.

The next night of our magical weekend, we were able to attend our first growth group of our new church.  We had dinner, fellowship, and prayer together.  We instantly felt like that was where we belonged.  I fell asleep that night thinking I am a blessed woman.  My cup runneth over.  Psalm 23:5 

And so it begins…again.

Everyone has a story to tell, and this blog will be my way of sharing ours.  Unfortunately, I’m not the best narrator, but I can get a few laughs every now and then.  Since this is my second attempt in the blogging world, I have decided to change my motives up a bit.  My first blog was to help family and friends get a glimpse of our lives when we moved to the North.  North Carolina, that is.  I know, a drastic change for this born-and-breed South Carolinian.  This blog will still document the ups, downs, and turn-arounds of our somewhat chaotic lives; but the big change is that this one is mostly for me.  I want to be able to remember the little details or the everyday moments that might not seem so impressive now, but they will make my heart smile later on in this journey.

However, I am thrilled that you are here.  I want to share our story with you.  Mainly, I want you to see Christ through our lives.  Don’t get your expectations up too high, but get excited.  I’m back, baby.